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J: Jumping around a bit, do you ever get hecklers at your level?

Arnold: A little bit, but not too bad. A lot of people are protective of me on the road. … So if someone started heckling … I actually don’t mind the heckling, I kind of like it, if I can hear them. But people are pretty protective. I think that what happens when you’re someone like me that people know or know something about, you get five minutes of grace – you do anything and they’re going to laugh. But then they expect a certain something, something funny. They paid to get in.

With me, with the five minutes of grace, they want to see if I’m a jerk. When they find out I’m not, I can feel them breathe that sigh of relief. Then we get into it. … After the show, they get to take pictures with me, and we talk. That’s the best part of the whole thing, getting to spend time with people. They’re so glad I’m not a prick. Or at least I’m hiding it well. I have my moments, believe me.

People are very smart. They remember a lot of things and are also grateful that I don’t criticize my ex-wives. I’m not critical of people, because I think they have the same feeling that I have, which is if you’re in love with somebody, you don’t just start hating them. You fall in love with somebody, you marry them, and you’re spending your lives together. How do you go suddenly to you hate them, they’re a terrible person? That doesn’t add up. Something’s not right with that picture. Things happen but you don’t just go … It would be weird.

There are some good moments in our relationships and there’s some funny stuff that I have to admit, and that I’m grateful for, from everything. I’m grateful that I’m married to Ashley, my wife now. It took me awhile to find the right person. Some people are lucky, they meet and marry their high school sweetheart or whatever. I never saw a real marriage working, because I grew up with just my dad. It took me awhile to figure out what’s needed in a happy marriage. You need to be all-in. You need to put all your chips on the table. You can’t save some for yourself or whatever. 

And you have to like each other. It’s just all these things, it took me awhile to figure them out and – nothing against the women that I did marry, they’re wonderful, delightful people, and by the way they’re very happy now without me, which is great. I am super grateful that Ashley came into my life.

J: Do you get that serious about things in the show?

Arnold: I do, but then you’ve got to go to the funny stuff. It’s ridiculous. Otherwise it would be horribly boring and … there’s moments where I digress but … I’ve had a lot of funny things happen to me. I’ve been stabbed by my wife. I’ve intentionally done stupid things like putting giant tattoos on me and … I’ve done a lot of dumb things, and I talk about that. I can see younger people in the audience taking it in, thinking, ‘I don’t think I’m going to do that. He seems like he took one for us there.’

J: Would a tabloid reader or E! watcher be very well satisfied with this show, then?

Arnold: There’s a few extra things that haven’t been there, that haven’t been in the tabloids. But they’ll be satisfied, yeah.

J: What’s ahead for you?

Arnold: I’m going to a tour a little bit more because of this special. I’m going to do some more shows. Then I’m going to do another television show that I’m writing now. Arnold Schwarzenegger and I are going to do another movie together. I can’t wait to do that. He has so many things he’s going to do now that he’s done in office. He wants to write, he still wants to do a lot of public service, but he will sneak in a movie or two. Just more of that. I have three or four movies that haven’t come out yet.

In my career, I go where it takes me. I don’t plan things because when I plan, it may turn out horrible. So I’ve been very lucky, and I’ll just go wherever life takes me, and be grateful for it. In a perfect world, I’d have one job that I went to, and I could come home and have dinner with my family, and everything would be wonderful, but it hasn’t worked out like that. I’ve had to travel and do this and that. I’m grateful for it all, but maybe this year I can figure out something with less travel that could keep me home more often with my wife and maybe we could start that family we’ve been talking about.

 

   

     

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