J: What inspires you to host the open mike?
AB: Because Iíve been to so many. I started hosting the Maui mike by
accident. The last guy who hosted Maui mike, I didnít like, because he
did 20 minutes between comedians. Because I was always there and a
friend of mine whoís close in age to me was hosting another mike, the
owner asked me to do it. For awhile I didnít want to host because that
meant responsibility and Iím shit when it comes to organization. So of
course, they asked if I wanted to host and I kept saying I couldnít.
Finally she was getting so pissed with him that I got the job. So far
Iím a much more popular host than he ever was, because apparently people
J: Whatís the weirdest experience you had hosting an open mike?
AB: Iíve had a few strange experiences. At one open mike, I used to have
this guy who came who is a shock comicís shock comic. I love him; he
used to walk me to my door every night; heís a sweet guy. Heís there,
doing his thing at my mike, and this other guy comes in, whoís not so
much a shock comic -- heís more like an overgrown frat boy, and I love
him too -- heís a goofball. They come to my mike, and the shock comic is
on stage. Of course, apparently, he had some beef with this guy, because
this guy said something to one of the shock comicís friends about a
disgusting story he told about having sex with a girl [involving]
mayonnaise and as a result she got worms and maggots. Of course, this
club owner he was talking to remembered the story, and the club ownerís
friend tells him. Meanwhile, according to the frat boy, the club owner
was badmouthing him, and they were badmouthing him together, which could
also be a possibility. But, to each his own. They settled this beef at
my open mike and I thought, ĎOh, shit, not now!í Ö That was strange.
Then there was the guy who brought a boom box on stage and started
screaming. That was the first time I ever feared someone would commit
suicide at my open mike, but I figured, hey, it was his $5. Most of the
time, my comics are excellent. Iíve never had a real attitude problem.
There was the guy who screamed onstage and a guy who did kung fu on
stage. It wasnít really comedy, but it was his $5.
J: You get people just coming there to have tacos and donít know thereís
going to be a show.
AB: Sometimes I get someone trying stand-up for the first time whoís
nervous. They donít want to tell anyone itís their first time. Theyíre
surprised that weíre, like, throwing a party for them like they just did
a really hot girl.
J: What happened with the Rachel Ray appearance?
AB: Apparently you should never tell a drinking joke and a Scott
Peterson joke back to back on early morning television. It made ďThe
SoupĒ and message boards. I got a lot of insane fan mail but all these
insane people were either bashing me on the Web or they wanted to get
tattoos of me. This was crazy.
J: What else do you have in the works?
AB: Festivals, agents, networks. So far Iím on the guest spot level so
thatís like a big small step. I have a manager thatís trying to do
something for me, thatís a big small step. My booker is putting me up at
the end of March. He says he only has room for me to emcee the show but
he wants me to host the next show. Thatís a big small step. People call
me about shows; thatís a big small step. Iím just trying my little heart
out. Iím putting together a one-woman show. I want to put it up end of
March, early April. Itís probably going to be a little rickshaw
production and hopefully it will be up at the New York Theatre Workshop
this summer. Iím hoping to get into some festivals.
J: Would the one-woman show be different from your regular stand-up in
AB: First off, itís got some puppets in it, and I do all my own puppet
work. Whatever form it takes, itís about my life; itís about my life as
J: How did you get the billing as the ďSuperfox of StandupĒ?
AB: Thereís actually a crazy story behind that. I was engaged to a guy
who was mentoring me in comedy. We had the most volatile relationship --
he was Ike and I was Tina. After we broke up, I was scared. This guy had
been my world, my sun, my moon and my stars, but at the same time he
didnít want to see me get better. I couldnít deal with the drama
anymore; I was graduating from college. I wanted to say in New York; he
wanted to freeload -- he didnít want a job; he wanted to live rent-free
off of me. So when I was distraught over this break-up, my sister gives
me a book, ĎThe Smart Girlís Guide to a Break-up,í and the author keeps
telling the girl, ĎYouíre a superfox. Youíre a superfox.í So thatís what
I kept telling myself, ĎYouíre a superfox, damnit!í
So Iím talking about this, and I go to some storytelling event and
everyoneís laughing as Iím talking about it, and this shit isnít funny!
Everyone tells me, itís hysterical, you really need to write this down.
This will make a killer comedy routine. So I write this ďSuperfoxĒ
routine and make [the ex-boyfriend] the star. Itís a routine thatís
never failed me. I always do it if I have a prime-time show.
[At this point a well-dressed male patron wearing a scarf comes over
from another table and says something like ĎMaybe you have a lot of
problems but we donít want to hear about them.í]
AB: Well then donít pay attention! Ö You have lots of problems too, like
eavesdropping, and itís New York, so shut up! Ö Can I throw something at
J: Itís up to you. Ö So you were saying?
AB: That was it.
J: I was going to ask you your best and worst experiences in comedy.
AB: When I did my first feature set on the road, that was one of my
best, because I felt like a star that night. And the waitress said, Ďsee
that guy in the front row. He wants to buy you a beer.í Ö I drank it, it
was good, I got to talk to him afterward, he was hot. Needless to say, I
had arrived. That was awesome.
The other cool experience in comedy was I was doing this show, it was
called ĎTwo-Dyke Minimum.í I was the only straight comic on the show,
because Iím a friend of the gay community. One of the comics, her sister
died of something freaky, so there was another friend of mine, because I
have lots of problems and I have friends that have lots of problems.
Together, people with lots of problems have lots of fun, so I was doing
my thing, and volunteered to step in. So I get on stage and everyone had
coming out stories, and theyíre waiting for mine. Needless to say, I
didnít have one, so finally I say, Iím the straight portion of the show.
They look at me, like Ďwhat?í And they laughed and I explained myself. I
didnít have a coming out story. It was Ďand, and, andÖ are you?í
I got to open for Otto & George which was cool. This was before I used
to get tanked before I went onstage. So I get there and theyíre like Ďdo
you want to get a drink?í I said no and they said you should get a
drink. OK, so I got a drink, and everybody there was smashed. So then I
got up and did well. Otto got up, he was great. Afterward, we went to El
Grecoís where we were all smashed. It was great and I loved it, but Otto
got banned from the Triple X awards, which takes skill. Ö He was
presenting at the porn awards.
J: How do you possibly get banned from the porn awards?
AB: It takes a lot of dick sucking. Ö Iím just saying that to piss him
off [the annoyed guy in the diner].
J: Does this happen a lot with you in public?
AB: Itís people with perfect lives who have nothing else to do. People
who nitpick. Iím a regular here. Iíve had racier conversations. And
thereís no one here. Ö Should I beat his ass?
J: Iíd like to see that.
AB: I could kick his ass.
J: I bet you could.
AB: Ö Iíve had a long week.
J: Yeah, I guess so.
AB: Should I just stay and annoy him? Ö I canít believe I kept you
waiting for 15 minutes. Or the fact that I got into a fight in here [is
pretty good]. It will make people want to read it. Ö Say I got into a
fight with ĎScarf Dude.í