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Two Blondes Walk Onto A Stage


But the joke's not on them. Jill Dobson and Jessie Spellmann debut a sketch show.


Pictured: Jonathan Brown-Tea with Spellmann and Dobson.


In a series of text messages from their cellphones, pinpointed by GPS somewhere among the boutiques of Soho, Jill Dobson and Jessie Spellmann prove that blondes, even those aspiring to be non-blondes, do have more fun.


The duo, performing an encore Saturday, August 20 at the People’s Improv Theater as “Two Non-Blondes,” plan to take their audience on a trip from the present back through college and down to junior high. They say they are exceptional at knowing how to “yes, and” each other (referring to improvisers technique for responding to each other on stage and building scenes).


“I put us in scenes I thought we would not only love to do, but an audience would kill to see – like an all-out blonde hair flying everywhere catfight,” says Jessie.


“Wait! There’s a fight scene?” asks Jill. “Do I get a stunt double?”


“Yes, and … no actually, sorry, I want a fair chance to clothesline you,” Jessie responds.


As teachers and mentors, the duo claim Brian Huskey and Peter Gwinn of the Upright Citizens Brigade. Jill says her favorite actor is Homer Simpson. “His facial expressions are priceless! What talent!”


Jessie’s cousin, Jordan Peele, is a performer on “Mad TV.” “He taught us how to overcome the hurdle of being both beautiful and funny,” she says. “Our beauty was a very tricky obstacle to overcome, but we found ways. For example, Jill stopped showering. It’s been a really gross but enlightening experience.”


Like a recent female duo show, “Rode Hard and Put Away Wet,” that featured June Raphael and Casey Wilson, at the UCB Theatre, “Two Non-Blondes” draws on the performers’ experiences growing up, but not to the letter.


“I wouldn’t say we play ourselves, I’d say we play each other,” says Jill. “For instance, Jessie’s character has a boyfriend who owns a frilly canopy bed. That charming experience is straight out of my life, not hers.”


“Wait!” Jessie interrupts, “Does that mean you’re playing me when you do the ‘worm’? Just kidding, there’s no ‘worm’ in the show. Jill’s experience was such a great concept to play with. The ultimate unattainable guy meets the girl who adores him too much to accept the truth. In life, Jill just dealt with it and moved on. But what if she kidnapped his homebound grandmother to get revenge! Again, we don’t really kidnap anyone, but you’ll like the obnoxious things we decided to do even more.”


“Yeah, like when I do the ‘worm,’” Jill adds.


Meanwhile, Two Non-Blondes are finding themselves in demand, planning more upcoming shows after their performance at the PIT. “Of course, we’ll be famous and lounging on our yachts,” says Jessie.


“The damn paparazzi is already tailing us,” adds Jill. “At this very moment, I’m typing on my Blackberry while driving my Escalade and eluding the photographers. It’s tough you know. I’m just thankful I have Scientology to get me through it.”


Two Non-Blondes (with special guest Jonathan Brown-Tea) perform 8 p.m. Saturday, August 20 at the People’s Improv Theater, 154 W. 29th St., New York. Admission is $5.




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